Who knew that when one is about to start first grade, magical things happen? Last night I asked Blueberry if she was going to sleep with Snuggle (the blanket she has slept with every night since she was a baby) and her doll. She looked at me as if she pitied me for how much I have yet to learn and replied, "I am a first grader. I don't need that stuff anymore. I am not a little kid". As I was trying to grasp the enormity of what being a first grader obviously means, she then proceeded to inform me that there are three levels of kidness, if you will. Little Kid, Kid and Big Kid. She is currently a Kid. And Kids do NOT need their blankets or dolls at night.
Later that evening, after we had crawled into bed, the first grader magic was revealed again. A couple of weeks ago we had a bat in our entry. Blueberry has been sleeping with me in my bed ever since because she is afraid the bat will get into the house. I guess she thinks that as long as she is in my bed, somehow that will keep the bat away from her. (I suppose it is because I seem to repel most men, obviously I would repel bats as well?) As we were lying there, waiting to be overcome with sleep, I might have made a comment like "there could be a bat hanging upside down in my closet right now". A terrified look passed across her face and she asked me if I was serious. Before I could answer, the terrified look vanished into one of defiance, and the first grader card was hurriedly played again, "I'm not scared because I am a FIRST GRADER". Once the fact that she was not scared was established, she decided against sleeping in her own bed anyway. I am sure it was to protect me, since I am most certainly not a first grader and, therefore, would be scared.
It seems that first grade holds the key to a new level of bravery and courage. I did tell her that it is okay to be afraid sometimes, everyone is scared of something whether they want to admit it or not. I am scared that Blueberry is growing way too fast and even though she may be ready to pass into the next stage of kidness, I'm not so sure I am ready for her to do so. Even though it breaks my heart a little, I will let her slowly spread her wings. I will watch her face her fears. I will rejoice at the strong little girl she is now and the woman she will someday be, all the while making sure she knows, that if she isn't quite ready to not be afraid, I will always be there to hold her hand until she is ready.
No comments:
Post a Comment