Heartache as a Teacher

Last night after work Blueberry and I had a few errands to run. As we passed the gym I used to belong to I said, more to myself than anthing, that I sometimes wished I still belonged. This was the converstation that followed:

B: Do you think you'd meet a hot guy there mom?
M: Um, no. There weren't any hot guys that went to that gym.
B: What about the guy that worked there. The one that helped all the girls all the time?
M: He wasn't hot, he was creepy.
B: You should go back there again. There might be a hot guy there now you could marry.
M: I doubt it. Besides, I'm not sure that getting married is something that I'll ever do.
B: Yes you will. You'll get married.
M: How do you know?
B: Because guys think you are hot.
M: Oh really?
B: I guess boys are stupid though because they think you are hot but they won't marry you. Why are boys stupid, mom?

How do you answer that question? It is one my girlfriends and I have asked for years and still have not come up with a good answer. Not only that, but how do you explain to a six year old the difference between men and boys? Yes, boys are stupid. Men, on the other hand, are boys who have finally grown up and realized there is more to life than playing games. Some boys try to be men but if they haven't truly become men, the idiot boy always makes an appearance.

One of these days I will try and explain the difference to her and try to point out the red flags that signal a male has not made the transition from boy to man. However, for all of my efforts, Blueberry will still have to figure it out on her own. She will have to have her heart broken by a few boys before she really learns the difference and runs the other way from a boy. My hope is, after a couple of heart breaks, she will learn the lessons a lot better than her mother has. After all, I still have a hard time knowing when a man is really a boy playing dress up in men's clothing.

For all the heartache there has been, there have also been many things I do not regret having to learn the hard way. The most important being that I do not want to settle for just a boy when there are still good men out there. I hope that Blueberry will also learn to never settle for anything less than what she needs and deserves. Even if it takes years of heartache to get there.